*WARNING*. Slightly serious post about the meaning of life and other adult stuff. If any of it comes across a bit patronising or condescending it’s purely accidental.
Mrs Banana Head turned 50 last week and she’s had epiphanys all round. Some of these have rubbed off / attached to me like friendly leeches so I wanted to share them. I guess most of us over a certain age will at some stage have said to ourselves, “What am I doing with my life?” If this doesn’t sound familiar there are a few possibilities why not.
- You’re perfectly content coasting through life dealing with stuff as it happens just enjoying the ride. This has been me most of my life.
- You’re living your life in The Matrix. Does that mean you took the blue or the red pill? I can never remember.
- You’re completely sorted with every aspect of your life and are blissfully happy and content. You smug b*****d.
- You have no thought process or consciousness and might be a figment of your own imagination. Now I’m really confused.
I haven’t reached that stage yet but I’m slowly getting there and last week has pushed it to the forefront. The usual clichés such as “Life’s too short” and “You only get one life, make it count,” are often wheeled out like elderly, flatulent relatives who kiss you inappropriately. Yes, I’m looking at you Grandma Esther. They are true though so let’s discuss. Mrs Banana Head invited lots of people to her party. There were family and close friends, friends, acquaintances and a few randoms that she asked when tired or confused.
There were quite a few cancellations. Some for genuine reasons, some for debatable reasons and some cancelled with barefaced lies. We know because we found out, bad people. It all just made her think about who she wants to be surrounded with. The conclusion was people she cares about, that care about her and that will be there for her. I think most of us (including me) have people in our lives that aren’t particularly healthy for us. Family’s tricky and there’s not often much that can be done about that but friends are different. Friends that judge you, not good. Friends that only ever go on about themselves and never show an interest in your life, not good either. Friends that you have a shared history with nothing else, potentially also not good. Why be friends with people that don’t make you happy or even worse make you miserable? Gently ease away from them and be surrounded by good healthy relationships, you don’t need all the shitty ones.
Work’s the same. Are you in a job that you hate and that makes you utterly miserable? Why? At this point I’m acutely aware that I could easily come across as smug so I’ll tread carefully. I am exceptionally fortunate in that I do a job that I love. I know that’s quite rare and I’m very grateful for it. Being Mr Banana Head brings me joy, happiness and I wouldn’t want to do anything else. Sorry, I may have just crossed the line there, I’ll step back again. Whilst I love doing what I do I still want more. I’ve been wanting to write children’s books for years, way before Mr Banana Head. I’ve started and stopped, procrastinated to within an inch of my life and right now nothing’s happening. Saying that, I’m quite laid back about it, deep down I know I’ll do it and believe that everything happens at the right time.
Speaking out and speaking your truth was the final epiphany. Both myself and Mrs Banana Head hate any sort of confrontation. If someone upsets us we can struggle to tell them how we feel. She’s suddenly started doing it and if I’m honest I find it a little bit scary but also exciting. She’s become my speaking out hero. She feels empowered and it also means stuff that’s been unsaid isn’t lingering inside like that piece of undigested red meat that’s been stuck on your colon for 23 years.
I know things are seldom that simple. With friends and jobs, there could be a plethora or reasons they are unhealthy and not good for you but you can’t jettison them. However, you may be able to and if you can, wouldn’t you want to be happier? Reading this back it is sounding a little preachy to me so apologies for that. It is all coming from a good place so try and focus on that.
I think I’m going to leave it there for now before I end up sounding like a sanctimonious old windbag. If you can get rid of the crap in your life that’s holding you back, making you miserable and isn’t there for your greater good then say goodbye to it and let it go.
See you next time.